Weekly Whatsapp Humour – 17
Jokes and Anecdotes from different #Whatsapp groups
पत्नी : “घर क्यों नहीं आये अब तक?”
पति : “जाम लगा है”
पत्नी : “ओह!! कब तक आओगे फिर?”
पति : “अभी तो पहला ही लगा है”
एक शराबी हमेशा शिवजी के एक मंदिर में जाता था और नियत समय पर पूजा पाठ करता था।
एक दिन पुजारी ने यह देखना चाहा कि इसे होश वगैरह भी रहता है या नहीं ।
उसने शिवजी की जगह गणेशजी की मूर्ति रख दी।
उस दिन भी शराबी आया, गणेश जी की मूर्ति देखी,
पूजा पाठ वगैरह किया और जाते जाते गणेश जी से बोला –
पापा आयें तो बता देना,
अंकल आये थे…..
Santa is back:
In a party, Santa asked a girl sitting Alone,
“Aap dance karoge”..??
Ladki khadi ho gayi aur boli”Haan Jarur”..☺☺😋😉
Santa: “Toh me ye chair le lu”?
Nightmare on the Delhi Street
I was walking on the footpath. I noticed a vendor selling tender coconut. He had a huge knife in his hand. He must be Modi’s man waiting to kill me!!
I quickly crossed the road. A few steps ahead I noticed a tea vendor. He had a kettle full of boiling water. He must be Modi’s man waiting to throw boiling water on me!!
I was very quick on crossing the road again. There was a bamboo scaffolding erected on the side of a building. One had to walk under that scaffolding. It must have been their plan to bury me under it!!
Sensing danger, I rushed on the other side of the road and what did I see there – a butcher shop. Oh! So a plan to cut me into pieces!! I rushed back on the road. Oh no! A truck was speeding towards me. Now I realized that it was a trap to bring me on the road. I screamed.
“Are you all right?” My wife was waking me up. I was profusely sweating and trembling in bed. “You must have had a nightmare. Wait, let me switch on the fan.” I heard her saying.
I felt better in the cool breeze. I looked at the rotating ceiling fan and remembered something. I questioned my wife, “The fan was not working in the morning. Did you get it repaired?”
“Yes. I called up the electrician in the afternoon.”
“Is it?” It suddenly stuck me. It must have been Modi’s gameplan.
“Switch off the fan.” I shouted, “They would have loosened the fan bolts so that it falls on me. Switch it off.”
“Now if you don’t allow me to sleep peacefully, I’ll murder you.” My wife said sternly.
“Oh, so you are also with them. You too Brutus!!!”
- From the diary of a Delhi politician.😛😛😛
No marks for guessing
(On Traffic Jam in Gurugram)
“Hi Thanks for calling Dominos! What would you like to order Sir?”
“One regular thin crust olive mushroom topping pizza”
“May I know your address?”
“156th car on the Exit 7, Delhi Gurgaon road NH8”