What you need to know about being around an insecure person
Insecurity is the root of a lot of issues in relationships. You’ve undoubtedly heard it said before that solid relationships are built on trust, or at least something to that effect, and I think most people would find that difficult to argue with.
No matter if it’s damage from a past relationship or past failures, it’s not uncommon for someone’s self-confidence to take a hit after a negative experience. Most people recover, but there are some men and women who carry those setbacks with them.
- But that’s the thing, being insecure does not always have a negative connotation to it, contrary to what most people think. Insecurity, for at least the other person, should act as a constant assurance that there is someone out there affected by you, and the thought of you leaving scars the living sh*t out of them; that person cares (more than) enough about you compared to someone who couldn’t care less.
- Even though the stigma placed upon the insecure is that we’re not fit dating material, we actually are. We’re more than dateable; we’re in it for long and refuse to just let go when things get tough. Not only because the thought of being alone is scary but also because we care enough for two people and not just one.
- We carry a lot of baggage over our heads. By a lot I mean A LOT. However what one underestimates is that we’re really strong. We’re stronger than the act we pull off. Because we’re constantly dealing with a lot at the same time, trying to stay calm in situations, which physically and mentally cause us, pain.
- The thing about deeply emotional insecure persons is that they’re not eccentric in their actions. Your girlfriend is acting low and giving you the silent treatment because youre out? No. you need to look beyond the surface. The insecure never lash out on just one thing; it’s the culmination of various things that they tried to put a brave front for and then reach a breaking point. Only to deal with another episode of going misunderstood by the person the love most.
- One cant just “quit being insecure” because that’s how they are programmed. Its an in-built instinct. We need to be reassured. Not 24×7 365 days. But occasionally. Consistency is the ultimate sexy for us.
- Never let them be alone for too long. When left alone, specially after a fight drags them down to a level that no one else can fathom. But they don’t deserve to feel miserable because the cared too much. If theyre upset just hold them. Seeing you detached while theyre sulking over is literally the worst thing you can do. Even if you don’t love them with all your might at that moment, don’t make it look like you don’t give a damn in the world either.
- Make them a part of the things you can. It means the world to them. They’ll never themselves ask to tag along because they feel like a pile-on but being invited feels like theyre being made part of someone elses life.
- Most importantly, we need you to bear with us because we’re constantly trying. The insecure come with a understanding ability of infinity and sensitivity levels even beyond that but we’re always trying to make peace with the things that the “normal” do. We know not everything we say has to be right. Some might seem outrageously unreasonable to you because its as normal as it sounds. But for us, like paranoia, its very real and nerve-wrecking.
- We’re not all childish and immature. Maybe that’s you for refusing to even trying to understand how we feel. Sure, we get riled up over our feelings, and we know it could get to be too much for you. However, it’s not something we do intentionally. We spend so much time trying to get our sh*t together in our own little worlds that it doesn’t always translate in the best way to the outside world. No matter how hard we try, we always find ways to go the extra mile to impress you because we don’t want to lose you. So, if you happen to walk in on one of our freak-out moments, please don’t take it personally. It’s all for you.
- One thing you can always expect from dating an insecure person is that he or she will be unwaveringly loyal and they will never take you for granted. We will love you so hard and will go the distance to prove our love for you.
The harshest set back for an insecure is that when they’re happy and are (sometimes) the reason for you laughing, it means the world to them. But its often ignored when youre fighting. Because never is them trying accounted for during an argument. And that’s the worst thing that you can tell them that they aren’t good enough. Or making them feel that they’re the reason for your misery.
- Even if it may seem that the efforts you’re making are going waste, they are really not. An insecure person notices every little detail. Whether you’re smiling or theres a wrinkle over your forehead or that you just nodded off your head in dismay or reached out to hold hands. They literally notice and analyze every single thing. The only problem is that when they’re hurt they close up and require just a little more affection and reassurance that they are wanted. Its as simple as a hug, it melts them away or a simple ‘I love you’ but they need to see the effort. Not to feed their ego but to feel like they’re seriously wanted because they will believe the negative in a second.
Dating someone like that is a challenge but its also the best thing that can happen to you because no one can love you like someone who is constantly batting life and its demons to keep you.