This is a tribute to all my girls out there battling insatiable hunger 24 hours a day and embracing it with all that hungry-girl glory. Basically, these women (obviously including myself) can snack all day, seemingly without any feelings of satisfaction, and subsequently continue to stuff their faces with anything they can get their hands on.
1. Whenever upset, food is what you turn to. No matter what and when, food never disappoints. It serves a purpose and the comfort we so long for.
2. Your gluttonous self influences your mood majorly. A hungry-her is a dangerous and irritable-her. She can, in all likeliness, chew off your head (figuratively speaking of course (not)) if she is not fed every 2 hours.
3. You don’t have to ever worry about her cheating on you or sneaking behind your back. Well, im not technically sure about the sneaking behind your back because she definitely might do that to steal your food because 1) hers might be over 2) she likes what you got or 3) she just needs to hog on food.
4. You will perpetually have a shocked expression on your face looking at her size and then hearing her diet for the day. Yes, believe her when she tells you that she had a giant glass of iced tea/cold coffee, 2 toasts, fried chicken, fries and scrambled eggs, JUST for breakfast.
5. You need be there for her in times of need. And by ‘times of need’ I mean when she shaves, showers and dresses up for an event only to find out that there aren’t any snacks. Or chicken. That’s when you step up your game.
6. More than stalking fashion pages on Instagram looking for clothes to wear, she likes to follow food porn and drool over the images on the screen that she cant have.
7. The biggest argument you’ll ever have is over you stealing the last good cheesy bite of her pizza that she saved for the big finale. Or over her favorite drink she doesn’t even spill a drop of.
8. Sometimes you’ll realize that she isn’t really hungry but she just really needs food to keep her mouth busy and her mind sated & calm. Basically, when shes bored, she eats.
9. Food for her is an all-emotion state. Happiness means food, sad mood means more food and depressed state means excess food.
10. Contrary, to what one might believe, they scrunch their nose on a anything and everything that falls in the ‘healthy category’. Its all a ‘Non–appealing Zone’ to them.